there’s inhaler on table
and masks next to books
there’s that unseen baggage
which I need to carry all the time,
still I am grateful for this new masked life.
when we can’t speak we use tears to show our feelings. tears flow quietly and ruin the page, they smudge the words and write a different tale. we need to let go our tears because sometimes they paint a different page. we need to learn to hold them within, we need to find that alchemy which can convert them into a piece of art.
sadness, words, anxiety and tears together they occupy places in us, we need to let go and tumble those building blocks.
will you believe me if I tell you by next year we would be on an island
where the sky would match the colours of our dreams,
will you stop me if I tell you that next year the page will be different
the distance which has suddenly ripped us apart
the memories which we never made this year .
will you believe me if I tell you by next year the clouds will fade
and we will meet without mask and that anxiety rolled up inside.
will you believe me if I paint that rainbow somewhere in the sky.
so much has changed since last year
but the moon is still the same
it still comes out each night
with a bag full of stars.
the sky is still the same
helps us write dreams
which we scatter quietly and
stain the night with poet’s ink.
Today’s meditation is about the weight of anxiety which we carry within us. For the past few months, I have been on edge. Always panicking, getting restless about my parents and loved ones in India, but it didn’t help. Now, after so many months, I have realized that anxiety is just a weight that we love to carry. If we keep ourselves occupied by doing things that make us happy, it would be better for our mental health. So now phone calls have been reduced, I am trying to be busy with other things, and that weight of anxiety I have kept on the farthest shelf. I have learnt to cope quietly.
Day 1 can be read here
Day 2 can be read here
The city is decked up with lights, the cafes have Christmas trees and those mock presents placed under them, masked people are wandering holding shopping bags and trying to enjoy the simple moments.
Amidst all the magic of the season in a country where there is no winter I am searching for those simple moments which can be peace for me. In my home I have taken out few Christmas ornaments and placed them on the coffee table, this year I am late with Christmas decor, the box is waiting for me. I am waiting for that perfect moment to dust the Santa and place the tree somewhere. Maybe this year I will keep real gifts under the Christmas tree. Maybe this year the Christmas will be real. Because we three will be at home after a long time. This year we won’t be traveling holding memories of home. …